Jane Rodger ‘Loses It’ In the Royal Adelaide Hospital

*This post is not quite what it appears (a lighter moment in dementia)

Yes, we have had some major family trauma with Dad going back into the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) via 2 ambulances after some very serious behaviour issues. On Thursday I spent from 1pm till 10pm grappling and holding Dad after some ‘wild behaviour’ in the nursing home which resembled a cowboy bar room brawl and continued in the Emergency Department (ED) at the RAH. This story will be probably be told later, but right now I want to share a lighthearted moment.

With dementia, you have some really traumatic and dark times but you have to laugh to keep your spirits up. These moments often come at the height of a disaster….this is what happened when my sister Jane arrived in the hospital to help me….

Dad was in a large room called a resuscitation room (due to no beds being available). He had myself and a 4 man security team restraining him for over an hour and after the events of the day ‘I was cooked’. I then wondered where Jane was, as Mum had told me she was in the RAH to help me. I rang Jane and found she was within 10 metres of where I was dealing with dad, but she was just sitting there aimlessly staring at the walls of the waiting room for over an hour and a half.

We had just had a change of staff in the ED and in sauntered a male nurse that can only be described as bloody good looking to say the least. His looks were a cross between David Beckham and Brad Pitt complete with designer stubble and piercing eyes. Let’s call him ‘Alan’. Then in moped Jane to see how Dad was as he lay on the table completely knocked out from hours of sedation.

Jane spotted Alan – and I don’t even think she saw Dad on the bed let alone ask how he was travelling. To see Jane’s jaw hit the ground was hilarious, and amazingly she instantly ‘perked up’ and started to strut around the bed to say “hello” to Alan (or was that to discuss Dad’s health?). Jane began to curl her hair around her ears as she tried to present her ‘no make-up/weekend tracky look’ in a better light. Jane then looked over to me and across the room mouthed the word “S-p-e-c-t-a-c-u-l-a-r!” (fact). I rolled my eyes as Jane started with a barrage of flirtatious moves that had me reaching for the sick bag.

I asked Alan “What time are you finishing your shift?” Alan said “7am”. Jane then comes up to me holds my shoulder and says “It’s ok Brett you must be tired, you can go home now, I will look after things from now!”. UGGGGHHHHH……..

Alan was an impressive character and was so smooth and suave I would probably turn for him:). He was charming, knew everything about dementia, was personable and completely controlled the room single handedly. He then decided to move Dad from one bed to another which meant Dad had to travel 1.5 metres sideways.

‘Alan the Magnificent’ grabbed a sheet, placed it under Dad , quietly called over two female nurses and then whispered “1,2,3” and Dad was magically transported sideways without even stirring, and Alan finished his amazing performance with a flick of his white sheet ala David Copperfield. Jane and I were gobsmacked and I silently applauded this human ‘freak of nature’.

Jane was now a dithering mess, and gushing like a teenage schoolgirl and embarrassingly began over-using Alan’s name “Yes Alan…No Alan… Anything I can do for you Alan?”. Jane was now in his captivating spell and she started getting in the way of Alan and had to apologise to him numerous times as her besotted behaviour reached fever pitch. The mobile x-ray machine came in …guess who was in the way again?…Jane!. She literally could not function and had the biggest smile I have seen in 10 years. I then witnessed Jane’s mobile phone come out to send a text to husband Simon to advise that “She needs to stay late with Dad”..pllllleeeeaaasse…..

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Jane Partington Rodger came in to the RAH at 6am the next day in her heels to “check on Dad!”…hmmmm